"I take issue with only children"

I didn't say this.

Why would I? I, myself, am an only child. My child will likely be an only child as well.

I was in the bathroom stall at a restaurant in San Diego this weekend, when I overheard two ladies talking. One of them was talking about her sister-in-law who told her that she is not having anymore children.

The young lady seemed perturbed at the thought of someone intentionally making their child an only child.

"I just take issue with only children. They should have a sibling."

She just going on about only children, bringing up every myth in the book. How we are all spoiled, weird, and lonely.

I came out of that bathroom stall with my Tenth Doctor shirt on, Comic-Con lanyard around my neck, and a smile. I said to her, "We aren't all bad, us only children." And went on to wash my hands. I can't believe I said something to her. A stranger. I was having a bold day, earlier I had asked Alan Tudyk a question at his panel for NERD HQ.

She seemed taken aback and said, "Oh, are you an only child? I'm sorry."

I told her that it was okay, that I wasn't sorry that I was an only. I continued to tell her that, after 9 years of infertility, 2 1/2 years of waiting for an adoption match, that my daughter will most likely be an only too. I also made sure to tell her that I was content having an only. I get to have her all my love and attention. I also told her that most people don't intend to be "one and done".

I learned that her annoyance with her sister-in-law's decision was mostly because SIL didn't have help with the pregnancy or after. SIL felt old (she is now 40), and didn't see the need to try again. Fair enough, it's her decision, not this young woman's. She may not have seen outward complications with her SIL's pregnancy, but that doesn't mean SIL didn't experience PPDA.

I was surprised at this young woman's naïve attitude as she approached pregnancy, like it's a right, a guarantee if you have one, you must have another.  Because she saw no complications in her SIL's pregnancy, she called her lazy for not wanting to experience it again.

However, it was okay for me, with my history of infertility, to be okay with being "one and done". How does that make sense?

It didn't matter what I said, she still seemed to resent her SIL for not wanting more kids all because she assumed it was her nephew's right to have a sibling. Because she herself wants a big family someday.

I hope this SIL doesn't feel pressured to have another child, just to appease her husband or his family. I hope her husband is content with one, if that is her wish to have an only child.

I know I struggle with the whole "one and done". For like a split second.

I often think what if I miraculously got pregnant? How awesome would that be to be able to give Miss A a sibling. But it oftentimes doesn't work out that way.

I can safely say that Michael and I are one and done. We are open to a pregnancy (should it happen, though considering the odds against us, it doesn't look good), but we are not holding our breath to make it happen. We are not open to another adoption either, as the first time was draining enough.

I guess I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that I got a "get out of having a second child" free card by this stranger, while she is casting judgment on her SIL. People amaze me.

I know there are people wishing for us to have more children, but considering I'm on the wrong side of 35 I don't see it happening anytime soon. Would I like to prove myself wrong? You bet, but I can't hope for that kind of miracle. Other people can for us, I can't. I like where my focus is right now, which is on my growing daughter. I don't want to lose sight of what I have with her, of what adoption has taught me, and brought into my life.

Maybe this sounds weird, but I don't want her to have to share me with someone else. Does that sound unreasonable? Probably. If I had the luxury of planning out my kids like other people do, this wouldn't be an issue at all.

So all this to say, watch what you talk about in the Ladies room next time you are there with a friend.

It's Been Awhile

Yes, I still have a blog.

Yes, I still have things I would like to say.

Yes, I will start writing in it again.

Let's start with an update.

The last time I wrote, Miss A was 10 months old and just started crawling. Well shortly after that post she also started teething.

In October we celebrated Miss A's first birthday. It was a great day, though she didn't really enjoy her cake.

For a few months prior she was struggling to eat table food and finger foods. Her tongue would push out the food instead of pushing it around and back. She loved Cheerios, but couldn't eat them, just push them out.

At her one year wellness appointment we voiced our concern to her Pediatrician. She referred us to an Occupational Therapist. Miss A responded quickly to therapy. We learned it wasn't a taste or texture issue, but an Oral Motor delay and disinterest in food. Once those issues were resolved, mealtime greatly improved.

In December we moved into a house. No more apartment living for us!

In January, she started walking. One time while watching Figure Skating she took her first steps. It was awesome to watch. She took more steps while watching Rock of Ages bopping and stepping to the Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead or Alive".

We survived our first family Tummy bug in February. Miss A bounced back within the day. I, on the other hand, took 3 days to recover, I can no longer eat sweet potato fries and I'm no longer "vomit-free since '85" (but "vomit-free since 2014 has a nice ring to it).

In March Miss A's adoption was finalized.

Right now at 21 months, Miss A is about 33 in tall and wears 12-18 months clothes. She is our petite flower. She talks non-stop, loves books, Minnie Mouse, and Hello Kitty, and if I let her, she would eat "Cado" (avocado) with every meal.

Every day, and week she surprises us with all the new things she wants to do. She wants bigger bites of food, she wants to go up and down the stairs. She doesn't want us to carry her anymore, though this means she MUST hold Daddy or Mommy's hand.

She is growing up fast. I hate it, but I also love it.