To Fight, or not to Fight? That is the Question...

There was a recent article on Huffington Post about a mom in Millburn, NJ who was beaten severely during a home invasion robbery. The incident was caught on a "nanny cam". It's is very graphic, and horrifying to watch, especially when reading the article the reader learns that this woman's 3 year old daughter was on the couch witnessing her mom get beaten by this intruder. After beating the mom, he threw her down the basement stairs, continued to rob the house of jewelry, and went back to the basement to beat her again.

The woman tells the news reporter that she "took it" because she knew if she screamed, her 3 year old would have screamed to, so her silence was to protect her kids (younger child was napping upstairs).

Someone on my FB newsfeed posted the link to the article and most of the comments on it were along the lines of "the police would have had to scrape him off the floor if it was me".

Really?

In a panic would you have had the presence of mind to take the phone, your child, and hide, or would you have stood your ground and fought back?

I can understand why the woman "took it", but again at what expense? Her 3 year old is traumatized, hopefully not for life, but she will need some sort of counseling. On the other hand, the assailant's attention was solely on the woman, which I think was the woman's intentions.

I think what is bothering me are all these comments from people (some of them moms) "Oh that wouldn't be me. That man wouldn't last 3 seconds...The police would be sifting cornmeal through him..." I appreciate the ferocity in their statements. I understand it, and I too would fight for my life and the life of my child.  But saying it and doing it are two different things. It's just big talk.

Reading between the lines of these statements, it is almost as if the commenters are suggesting that what this mom did (or didn't do) was not brave, simply because she chose not to fight back. Considering the rage this guy had, it was probably a wise choice she didn't fight back as she could have made the incident much worse.

I'm sure fighting back went through that woman's mind. I'm sure she was scared out of her mind, that she likely panicked, not having time to grab her kid, run up the stairs, and lock herself in her bathroom, or her baby's room, and call the police. Maybe she quickly analyzed all the possible scenarios before realizing that the only option left was to just take it, so this person would leave quickly.


In my 8 1/2 months of being a mom, I've had a few "Mama Bear" moments. Nothing compared to this woman's experience, but it was a MB moment. This one occurred when A was brand new, and the pediatrician assigned to us was not listening when I kept telling her that A was turning blue while we were feeding her, and gasping for air when we put her to sleep on her back.

"She's got reflux."

"What about her breathing?"

"You will need to switch formulas."

"What about her breathing?"

"You will also need to hold her upright for 20 minutes after feeding."

"What. About. Her. Breathing?"

(Thoroughly exasperated) "If she turns blue the next time you are feeding her, take her to the ER."

A turned blue that night, three times while we were feeding her and when we attempted to burp her she was gasping for air.

I know what happened, the Ped was likely writing me off as a nervous first time mother. Something was wrong with my child and no one believed me. Once we took A to the ER, the nurses and the Dr on call hooked A up to a pulse oxy machine and saw for themselves while I fed her, that she fell into the 60s and turned a dusky ashen color. They admitted her, and transferred her to their Children's Hospital. (She stayed there for 10 days, had surgery to open her airway, endured multiple tests, and was eventually cleared to go home.)One of the nurses hugged me, and said, "You did the right thing bringing her in."  They believed me. The fight was not in vain. I could finally let out the breath I was holding.


I honestly don't know what I would have done if I was in that Millburn, NJ woman's shoes. I know I would protect my child, that is a given. I don't know if I would have just stood there and taken a severe beating from an intruder, but if it took the attention away from my child and protected her from being assaulted...then yes. In the grand scheme of things I like to think that I would have taken my child, called the police and hid.

It just pains me that this woman endured so much, such a senseless act of violence - for what a few hundred dollars worth of jewelry?

I hope she and her child make a quick recovery and get the help that they need to be able to live through this horrific incident.

I hope they catch the intruder, so that this does not happen ever again.