I Don't Do Anything

Its true, I don't really do anything. Since being laid off in May, I haven't really made an effort to look for another job, and technically we are not in a position where I have to seriously start looking for work. I'm very blessed, because I don't need the added anxiety that certain jobs (of the Customer Service variety) can bring.

I'm not complaining. I like the freedom that I have right now. I try to do the best with the time that I have at home, with cleaning or writing (or sitting in front of the TV trying to unlock as many characters as I can from my Harry Potter Lego game).

The only time I get self conscious about my employment status or lack thereof, is when I'm meeting new people, or when I'm suddenly thrust on stage with my husband at a graduation dinner thingy at his school with twelve other couples all of whom are doing something way more significant than taking care of two cats and playing Harry Potter Lego. That is when I start to over analyze my current stay at home housewife status.

I know things would be different if we had kids, because I'd be a stay at home mom taking care of kids as opposed to cats (because really, cats can take care of themselves), and people would hardly give me a hard time about it. (And even if they did, I wouldn't care because they're my kids and also being someone who was practically raised in childcare from the tender age of 18months old - I'd want my kids at home). So again the added attention to me in regards to "what I do" (or don't do) is a bit unnerving and at times can be embarrassing.

I didn't speak at this panel, answer questions or even introduce myself. I just sat next to Michael looking pretty (at least I can do that well :) )

Personally, I think its because of the added expectation that I put on myself that I should be doing something, when really I'd rather stay at home.

And I know I can change this if I wanted to, but its only about 10% of the time that I feel this sense of inadequacy (which is really only about twice a year).

I guess to solve a bit of this problem would be to start on the book I set out to write last June. It would give me something to talk about when I'm asked "What do you do?" or "Oh, you're a writer. What do you write about?"

So to answer the question that was asked of me as part of a panel last Friday that I chickened out of,

"What do you do?"

To be honest, I don't do much of anything. I read, I blog, I play with my cats.

"What do you love to do?"

I love being with my husband and supporting him at events such as these. I enjoy hanging out with my friends and talking and having coffee with college students whenever I can.