An Interesting turn of events

Something awesome has happened and I can't really talk about it.

Lets just say that something we've been waiting to happen for a long time, has the potential of happening very soon.

We're excited, and a little scared.

At first, the people I needed to get a hold of, I was playing phone tag with, but I finally got a hold of them.

I think the 'not-being-able-to-get-a-hold-of-the-people-I-need-to' thing was happening for a reason. I'm sure it was God's way of showing me patience. Because lets face it, He doesn't just give us patience - He provides an opportunity for us to be patient.

I'm so overwhelmed at the moment.

I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, because lets face it, things like this don't happen to us. Things like this happen to strangers or friends of friends, not us.

I really want to be hopeful, but my cynicism is winning out.

Caution is starting to overrun my excitement.

It feels like the beginnings of a perfect cycle all over again.

Two years ago, Michael and I had our last IUI cycle and by far it was the best one we had ever experienced. I had responded well to the meds (as always), my lining was 'beautiful' (RE's words, not mine), the right side had been quiet (as it should be, since there is no tube there) and the left side had produced three very lovely mature follicles.

The morning of the IUI, I had brought all the remaining meds back into the RE's office because I had no longer wanted to see it in my fridge. After all, this was to be our last cycle...ever. We had decided, 4 IUIs (technically 8 in total, 4 were cancelled), was enough. My RE was actually being generous to us at offering a 4th cycle since I responded so well to the meds (typically they didn't continue after 3 failed cycles).

Everything had been going perfectly. I had passed 12dpiui without bleeding (a milestone, as I never exceeded 12dpiui). But once I had hit 14dpiui and did the required hpt (my RE office had you do a hpt before having a beta) my hopes were dashed as the hpt had been negative.

It turned out our perfect cycle had ended in a chemical pregnancy.

I don't feel like I'm being forced to do anything I don't want to. I don't feel I'm forcing doors to open that should be kept closed. So far everything is going as right as can be expected...and maybe that is what is scaring me. Because things, like this, don't usually go right for us.

I'm noticing with this new situation that even though God is opening the doors - it still requires work on my part. I can do the easy thing and sit back and do nothing, or I can do the right thing by stepping out of my comfort zone and do what needs to be done.

I apologise for the vagueness of this post. I will try to post an update soon