The Wisdom of Glee

Can I just say how much I love the show Glee? Well of course I can, this is my blog :) Anyway, Tuesday's episode was really great, lots of twists, Neil Patrick Harris awesomeness (I've never heard him sing before. Yes I know, I live in a cave), but for me the highlight of the episode was Artie's subplot.

Tina wanted Artie to do a dance number with her. It didn't turn out so good. Encouraging him that he will walk again one day, Tina brings Artie a mountain of paperwork of breakthrough research that she found in regards to spinal cord injuries.

And then there was the best part of the show...Artie's daydream dance sequence set to Men without Hats Safety Dance.

But the real clincher for me was toward the end of the episode when Artie realizes that he may never be able to walk again. And he tells Tina gently, "I have to focus on dreams that I can make come true." 

I nearly cried, because that is what I've been trying to do for the past six months, but no one will help me move on. No one will help me redirect my focus. No one will allow me to let go of the dream of having a biological child. Its almost like they are somewhat discouraged that they now have to pray for our adoption. Like we are settling for something else and not "focusing on the miracle".

I know these people are well-intentioned when they tell us that they are "praying for a miracle of a biological child," or that they are "believing in God to bring us a child of our own."  But its difficult to feel their support when their focus is so much different than ours.

I can't afford to hold onto that hope, or believe that God will someday allow us to have a child that is half me and half Michael. I can't continue to think about when God will ever open my womb, because He might not choose to do so. I can't keep focusing on what if this month is the month, because honestly, I've been doing that for six years and all it brings is disappointment when I don't see two pink lines.

Instead, I have to focus on dreams that I can make come true.

And because I love Glee and Artie here is his 'Safety Dance'